Oh, God, I know that you are a gracious God. Your goodness, grace and mercy flow freely from you. I am earnestly seeking after You. As is stated in II Peter 3:18, I ask, Lord, to help me "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever." I wish to forget about this world and all it's temporary pleasures, and be obedient to Your Word.
I know that you have brought others alongside to pray with me for my children. Thank you so much for that. This has helped lift this great burden that I have been carrying alone for so long. I know that my tendency is to clam up and shut down. I realize that a part of this is probably related to guilt and shame. Part of it is also that I end up feeling so exposed. I find that when I do talk with someone I have great regrets later that I ever opened my mouth. I have started reading a small book which has a writing by Arthur Hildersham and am dragged down by the weightiness of the fact that I am charged with the souls of my children. What a great load to bear!
I know that somewhere inside I do have a longing to talk with someone - someone to share my deepest thoughts and concerns with. I know I resist having any close friends and haven't really had one for over 20 years - that I keep people at arms' length because that is the easiest way to keep from being hurt, but I do have this emptiness inside. I know how to be a friend to someone, but seem unable to let someone be a friend to me. I ask that you guide me in knowing when, to whom, and what to say. I am ever looking for wisdom and discernment in this area. I wish to have the discernment I not only need to know Your will, but Your truth. Let me know what You desire. I wish to make decisions that honor You.
As is written in II Corinthians 12:9, “'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I ask that you heal my pain and free me to discover what You can do. Please keep me always remembering the power of the gospel. It is so easy to get bogged down in sinful self-pity. I need to keep remembering to look upward and not inward.
Please help me not to give up - to keep praying through my tears. I know I often become discouraged and bogged down in life’s cares. Sometimes it seems overwhelming. Please give me the strength to carry on. As is written in I Peter 5, I need to cast all my cares upon You. I do know that You care for me. I know that You, Lord, will sustain me and You will never let me fall. You are able and willing to take everything that threatens to overwhelm me and use it for my benefit. I ask You, Lord, to take the pain and disappointment from my heart and set me free to live in faith. I am trusting You to work a miracle in order to meet the needs of those I love.
I pray that You would bring others into the lives of my children to show them the error of their ways and the reality of sin in their lives. Thank you for the people at church and Patty who have had the courage to open their mouths and say words of correction to my children. I rejoice that you have provided these people in my life. Often I feel like my kids think I am out of touch with reality because so many other people in their lives are giving them conflicting information; that what I am telling them is out-of-date and old-fashioned and has no place in today's world. I find that they discount what I say because so many other people are telling them that they (my kids) are right and I am wrong. Please help me protect my children from these ungodly influences in their lives. I know I can't shelter them forever and with the proliferation of various types of technology, they will always have these other influences. Please help me know how to handle each situation as it comes up. I ask, Lord, that you keep Your hand of protection over them even as they make bad decisions. You are the Rock that is stronger than I am. I want to protect my children, but I cannot do it without Your help.
Lord, I pray that You would draw my children unto You. I pray that my children will come to know Jesus as their Savior and friend. This is my greatest request. I wish to say, as is stated in III John 1:4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." I wish for my children to have the "peace that passes all understanding" - this can only come from You.
Lord, I wish to fully live a Christ-filled life. Please let my children see the difference that Jesus has made in my life through my actions, words and deeds. Please let me reveal and reflect You in everything I do and say. I wish for my children to see You in me and that they would covet a true relationship with You. As David Livingston used to pray, I wish that I "might imitate Christ in all his imitable perfections" so that I might be more and more conformed to Your image. You are the very source of all holiness and perfection. I ask that You give me a passion for Your holiness. Pleae give me grace to immitate You in Your holiness.
I know that my sincere prayer has great power. Please help remind me to take more time out for prayer and fasting; the souls of my children are at stake. Help me to better manage my time so that I can regularly set aside days for this. At this time of great need I know that one day every week would not be uncalled for. Please don't let me let "life" get in the way of my spiritual needs and that of my family. I am asking, Lord, that you keep reminding me of Your Lordship in my life. Please help keep me humble. Please also keep me cognizant of the sin in my own life that I need to confess daily.
In Romans 8:28, Your Word says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” I am clinging to this promise. I know that at all times You are working for my own good and for Your glory.
I also cling to the promise you made in I Corinthians 10:13 where you said "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." I know that you will not let me fall. I am trusting You to equip and sustain me. Help me persevere - pressing on "toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. " (Philippians 3:14)
Lord, please help me always celebrate Your goodness and mercy. I know that your hand is in this and I must seek Your will. Please grant me patience, love and understanding during these trying times.
“Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants,
And Your glory to their children.